Goodbye Zoom! An Homage to an Old Favorite

If you are age 75 or less, you have undoubtedly heard or read the children’s book Goodnight, Moon.  It is a staple, at least in American children’s literature.  The book was published in 1947, and written by Margaret Wise Brown and illustrated by Clement Hurd.  It is estimated that the book has sold somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 million copies, which is almost as many times as I baked banana bread during the pandemic.  

According to a great article on the book, the young bunny protagonist (Hare of Easttown?) says goodnight to all of his possessions, which represent “a world he already knows, and he is the one who chooses his goodnights. The bunny is consistently in control of his narrative, even though in the end the narrative makes him ready to sleep.”  That is quite a contrast to our recent experience. Our narrative was not our own and who could sleep knowing what was going on outside our door among the people wearing actual pants?

At the start of Goodnight Moon, the clock next to the bunny’s bed says 7 o’clock.  By the time the bunny has said good night to everything in his control, the time is 8:10. Similarly, when we woke up at the beginning of the COVID nightmare, the clock said 2020 and now that we are finally beginning to come out of what amounted to a total loss of control, it says 2021.  What the hell happened to all that time and what do I have to show for it? I can show you where all the banana bread now lives on my body; that’s what I have to show for it.

In any event, as a homage to all that is great about Goodnight Moon and banana bread, here is my latest contribution to literature:

Goodbye Zoom by Me

In the small back room
There was a cellphone
And a feeling of doom
And a real sense that-

The pandemic was most inopportune
And there were people everywhere feeling despair
And thwarted ambitions
And heavy decisions

And bored kids in the house
And always your spouse
And a brain turned to mush and an Instacart rush
And Clorox wipes for every food item you touched

Goodbye room
Goodbye Zoom
Goodbye cat walking behind every Zoom

Goodbye mask
And red eyes by noon
Goodbye puzzles
Goodbye bubble

Goodbye kitchen
We’re out on a mission
We’ve opened the locks
Even put on some socks*

Goodbye to my house
And the dent on my couch
Goodbye to TV
And to being a grouch

Hello neighbors
Out walking at dusk
And hello to the friends we can now see and touch

Goodbye fear
Hello air
Please get vaccinated so we don’t return there.

*and pants

The original words are below, in case you somehow managed to forget them!

Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown

In the great green room
There was a telephone
And a red balloon
And a picture of-

The cow jumping over the moon
And there were three little bears sitting on chairs
And two little kittens
And a pair of mittens

And a little toy house
And a young mouse
And a comb and a brush and a bowl full of mush
And a quiet old lady who was whispering “hush”

Goodnight room
Goodnight moon
Goodnight cow jumping over the moon

Goodnight light
And the red balloon
Goodnight bears
Goodnight chairs

Goodnight kittens
And goodnight mittens
Goodnight clocks
And goodnight socks

Goodnight little house
And goodnight mouse
Goodnight comb
And goodnight brush

Goodnight nobody
Goodnight mush
And goodnight to the old lady whispering “hush”

Goodnight stars
Goodnight air
Good night noises everywhere