I love humorist Andy Borowitz. Someday when I am a grown-up writer I want to write like him. Plus, he writes for the New Yorker, which is pretty cool. So far, the New Yorker is not beating down my door for material. I haven’t even heard from the New Jerseyer at this point.
I did recently get asked to write an article about the opening of the health insurance exchanges (you will probably see it next week) and mine is no where as good as Borowitz’ version. So I thought I’d send his along as we in healthcare brace ourselves for the onslaught of health insurance exchange drama to come starting October 1, 2013, when the exchanges open or don’t open or lord knows what.
How ironic that the exchanges will open just as the federal government will probably close. If the federal exchange people who announced yesterday that their exchange won’t quite be ready for October 1 had just waited a few more days, they could have blamed it on Congress.
But back to Borowitz…here is his story about next week’s health reform developments. Whether you like Obamacare or hate it, this is just darn funny.
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—In a blockbuster documentary to be broadcast tonight, the Fox News Channel alleges that Obamacare is “little more than a thinly veiled scheme to force Americans to live longer.”
The documentary, called “The Ugly Truth About Obamacare,” claims that President Obama “is cynically using the health-care law to achieve his true objective: raising the life expectancy of Americans without their consent.”
“In America, how long you live has always been your own business,” says the documentary’s narrator, Sean Hannity. “Under Obamacare, though, it’s the government’s business—a government that wants you to live as long as humanly possible.”
The documentary lays out a nightmare scenario of Americans being saddled with sky-high life expectancies for years to come.
In perhaps the most chilling prediction of the documentary, Mr. Hannity warns, “If Obamacare goes into effect, Americans will be forced to live as long as people in Finland, Denmark, and other socialist countries.”
Speaking with reporters today, Mr. Hannity said he hoped that the documentary would be a “wake-up call about the secret agenda behind Obamacare.”
“President Obama is playing God with American lives,” Mr. Hannity said. “And if he stubbornly insists on making those lives longer, that could be grounds for impeachment.”
Have a great weekend everyone!