Life During Sick Time – A Song Parody for Tough Times

Part three of my attempt at levity in tough times:

I was hanging out, on Zoom of course, with my junior high buddies (why make new friends when you can keep your old ones!) and we were kvetching about the new world disorder.  Someone made the comment that it’s a bit like living in a time of war, and I had one of those lightning bolts where the words to the fabulous Talking Heads song Life During Wartime came into my head, but re-written for the moment.  So I sat down, and with thanks and apologies to the Talking Heads, here’s what came out of my fingers in one fell swoop. You know, I never thought about it before, but what the hell is a “fell swoop”?

Anyway, it’s best to listen to the real song first for the tune, and also because it’s awesome.  Hope you’re all doing ok in your own way.

Life During Sick Time

(based on the fantastic Talking Heads song, Life During Wartime)

Heard of a van that is loaded with face masks,
Packed up and ready to go
Heard of some grave sites, out by midtown,
A place that too many know

The sound of silence, outside the window,
I’m getting used to it now
Live in my kitchen, eat in my bedroom,
I’ve been all over this house

There ain’t no parties, there ain’t no discos,
There ain’t no shopping in town
If I am dancing, or exercising,
It’s all inside of my house

Transmit the Zoom call, to the receiver,
Pray for your wifi to play
I had a passport, a couple of visas,
But now they’re all put away

High on a hillside, down by the bayside,
Nobody’s ready to roll
I cringe in the daytime, lay awake in the nighttime,
I might not ever leave home

There ain’t no parties, there ain’t no discos,
There ain’t hardly a sound
There ain’t no wet wipes, or toilet paper,
I’ll wash my hands again now

Heard about New York? Heard about Detroit?
Heard about SF and LA?
You oughta be six feet from those people
Or they could cough in your face

I got some groceries, got me some Netflix,
To last about 30 days
But I ain’t got no mind left, sick of my cell phone,
Don’t know if this is Friday

Can’t stay in college? Can’t go to day school?
Kids are bouncing off walls
Can’t make it better, Dude, this is real hard
I can’t stop having a cow

There ain’t no parties, there ain’t no discos,
My cat is lying face down
My car is idle, my rear is spreading,
Don’t let me gain one more pound

Troubled by panic, just go down the block,
We must stay out of the crowd
We got computers, we’re spamming Zoom lines,
Now work says Zoom ain’t allowed

We dress like gym rats, hair up in hair ties,
Bye bye to suit and a tie
I wore my leggings, so many times now,
I don’t care what I look like!

It makes me shiver, I am so worried,
Are things as bad as they seem?
I’m so exhausted, I’ll eat more ice cream,
And then perhaps I can sleep

Drank all my bourbon, whose got more bourbon?
That may help me survive
My heart is aching, burns like a furnace,
While Purell keeps me alive!