I’ve been planning to write my annual holiday song parody for a few days, but I kept getting distracted. The most recent distraction was last night, when I was actively seeking out a distraction from the evening news, which should really be renamed “The 10 o’clock reasons to consider ending it all.” I found my way to Netflix and then to Jim Gaffigan’s new comedy special, Comedy Monster, and it was great. I laughed out loud, hard, even at the COVID parts. I highly recommend it. The opening COVID-related line is, “Remember when we thought the pandemic was over? “Yay! We did it!!!!! The pandemic is like a TV show that we thought was cancelled, and then it got picked up by Netflix.”
I love that Netflix let this little diss go by, since they are the ones streaming Comedy Monster. It’s so good to be able to laugh at ones self. That may be our biggest societal problem today – not enough people willing to laugh at themselves and/or to admit they acted absurdly. A little self-deprecation goes a long way towards ameliorating the collective rage that seems to be all too pervasive right now. People are admonished to be kind. I think they should be admonished to lighten the hell up and laugh at themselves. We all need some giggles right now as we watch the instant replay of the 2020 surge, er I mean the 2021 surge…Damn. I mean both.
Anyway, I finally got around to it. Here’s the holiday song for 2021. If more people don’t take COVID seriously, you may be seeing this again at the end of 2022.
This particular ditty should be sung to the tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas.” If you don’t remember it because your memory now only contains some odd combination of bleach, anti-bacterial spray and mediocre food delivered by strangers, I understand. Thus, I have provided the classic Perry Como version here so you can hum along:
It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Last Year
It's beginning to look a lot like last year No where do we go Zooming with business men, over and over again Wracking our brains, yet COVID remains, Oh No! It's beginning to look a lot like last year What a freaking bore And the crappiest sight we see is people without vaccines Rather than lines at drugstores Another week of sweat suits while growing out my roots Is not how this year should end It’s 5 o’clock so please someone unlock How to make NOW look better than THEN And Mom and Dad can hardly believe school is out again! It's beginning to look a lot like last year Man, this really blows I hear there are still nice hotels, theaters and ballparks as well Thanks to DoorDash at least the alcohol still flows It's beginning to look a lot like last year Soon Netflix will start And the thing that’ll make hearts sing is vaccines for the right wing All should do their part It's beginning to look a lot like last year And the year before So, the happiest sight one can see is the family that will be Inside our own front doors Jeez, it's last year once more