No one ever likes to lose their crown. I mean, you hold the world’s record in say, long jump, and then some young upstart comes along and shatters it. It has to feel bad. You work so hard, you become the best in the game, you watch your name get put up on the wall of the high school gym and then, like you never existed, it gets covered up by a banner featuring some other guy.
So today I am feeling very sorry for the Wendy’s Triple Baconator, heretofore the most disgustingly fattening fast food burger you could buy, clocking in at 1330 calories and providing 132% of your daily fat requirement. The Triple Baconator, which was the subject of one of my more popular posts last year, lost its crown this week to Denny’s Mac n’ Cheese Big Daddy Patty Melt (MCBDPM). The MCBDPM (the acronym alone is bigger than most entrees) is comprised of “a hand-pressed beef patty topped with our NEW creamy Mac ‘n Cheese, melted Cheddar cheese and zesty Frisco sauce on grilled potato bread and served with a side of our wavy-cut French fries.” This cheesy confection offers up a scrumptious 1690 calories, although you can add $.69 and get extra cheese. Wisconsinites everywhere are thrilled.
Denny’s tag line for this product is “Do you believe in love at first bite?” It should be, “Does anyone know how to work the Defibrillator?” Denny’s company’s motto is “America’s Diner: It’s Always Open!” If they’d paid their advertising firm an extra $.69 they could have added, “…even when your arteries are closed!”
I saw a similarly-themed article today called America’s Ever Growing Portion Sizes, that discusses how restaurant portion sizes have ballooned (along with their patrons) over the last 20 years. For instance, the average store-bought bagel has grown from 3 to 6 inches in diameter, adding over 210 calories in the process. The average blueberry muffin wins the prize for growth (would this qualify it for the Inc. 500?) expanding from 1.5 ounces and 210 calories to over 5 ounces and 500 calories.
In my field (investing) you are thrilled to see something grow at this rate. But when it comes to food portions, we are totally screwed. About 26 million Americans already have diabetes and it is estimated that about 35% of the rest have pre-diabetes. One bite of that cheesy Denny’s nightmare might just put these people over the top.
So it’s Labor Day and I know all of you are heading to barbecues where you won’t be thinking about calories first. But just to give you some perspective, you would have to drink nearly an entire 12-pack of beer to match up to the MCBDPM. At least that would take you a few hours!
And for the fun of it, another sound bite from one of my favorite comedians, Brian Regan, on the very subject of calories and portion sizes. Best line: “2 cookies? Who eats two cookies? I eat Fig Newtons by the sleeve!” Enjoy and happy long weekend.