For those of you who have followed me for a while, you know I like to do a holiday song parody at the end of each year. I love both comedy and music, and if I didn’t have a singlng voice that could raise the dead I could have been the next Weird Al Yankovic. Lord knows I have the hair for it.
So here it is, my last post for the annus horribilis that was 2016: a new entrepreneurial anthem to ring in the New Year (or at least the JP Morgan conference): Thriving Here in Venture Fundingland.
You know that part in the How the Grinch Stole Christmas where the Grinch and Max and the Whoville Whos are holding hands around the giant tree singing in unison (Fahoo Fores Dahoo Dores….)? Just picture the startup teams you know hand in hand, encircling their obligatory ping pong table and singing my song with their venture investors. Yeah, yeah, I know. No one wants to hold hands with venture capitalists; but that’s what the Whos once said about the Grinch, so one can dream.
Happy Holidays to all my friends and followers!
Thriving Here in Venture Fundingland
(sung to the tune of Walking in a Winter Wonderland)
NASDAQ bell rings Are you listening? Sand Hill Road Term sheet glistening A beautiful sight We're debt-free tonight Closing here in venture fundingland Gone away, is the bridge round Series A, is now inbound The syndicate‘s strong Let’s hope they sing our song Launching here in venture fundingland
In the valley we can build a startup And write software til we’re all face down We’ll say yes we’re harried But it’s OK man, ‘Cuz if we don’t succeed Next round is down Later on We'll conspire As we dream of values higher To face unafraid The Board that we've made Growth hacking here in venture fundingland
Build the team No vacation Chase the dream Innovation! With ROI in sight VCs use pre-emptive rights Traction here in venture fundingland
Cash burn, we’re optimizing To avoid a big downsizing Bring investors along Pivot when we’re wrong Scaling here in venture fundingland
In the valley we can build a Newco And pretend we know what’s in the cloud Wear black turtlenecks and work in stealth mode And exit long before markets melt down
When it pays Ain't it thrilling By skin of teeth, make a killing We'll frolic and play, drive our Teslas away Surviving here in venture fundingland Thriving here in venture fundingland